Captain’s Log - June 22, 2021

Confessions of a Pirate.

Philosophy, Imposter Syndrome, and a Clear Conscience.

I believe playing music should be fun and accessible to everyone. You don’t need advanced degrees in music theory to enjoy or play music. “Three chords and the truth” is how Harlan Howard described country music in the 1950s. I heard a version of this about 20 years ago when a wise man told a friend of mine “All you need is three cords and a feeling.” That simple statement made a lasting impression on me. I love listening to and playing complex music, but I think the “and a feeling” philosophy carries over and relates to my belief of music being fun and accessible. No matter what genre, if the sounds you are listening to or creating bring you joy or stirs an emotion in you, then that’s all that matters.

I forget where, but I once heard that the key to being happy playing music and an instrument is to follow “The 3 C’s”.

1.     Don’t Compete. Music is an art, not a sport.

2.     Don’t Compare. The only thing that separates one musicians skill level from another is the amount of practice. Even creativity can be practiced. Also be aware of your own goals. A drummer need not get jealous that they can’t play 300BPM extreme metal, if all they really want to do is play White Stripes’ covers. 

3.     Don’t Complain. Did the show end up being a weird house party in the backwoods of Maine with a wonky ass stage, rave dancers, and feature a very awkward marriage proposal? Just take it all in and enjoy the adventure. 

That is easier said than done however. Frank Zappa, Devin Townsend, Hillary Hahn, every guitarist in all my past bands; These people are musicians. Who the hell am I when compared to them? Three chords and a feeling? Well the more you know about music theory, the more you can use that knowledge to get the feelings out you are trying to convey.

This leads me to my imposter syndrome. I deal with it in almost every aspect of my life. My music however, is where it haunts me the most. Even though I have co-wrote, performed, and recorded music for over half my life, I have a hard time calling myself a musician. I know very little music theory. As a drummer I have a grasp of beats and rhythms, but I still say “Every good boy deserves fudge” to myself when reading sheet music. Following the “3 C’s” and reminding myself about only needing 3 chords and a feeling doesn’t always help.

I’ll get to my confession, but first I need to talk about my song Stem The Tide. I am extremely proud of it. Finishing it was the first time I truly felt like an artist and musician. I have no imposter syndrome associated with it at all. The music was in my head and I did whatever was necessary to get it to come out of the speakers. I sang parts into the computer, auto tuned it to see what notes I was singing, googled scales and chords for those notes, and arranged everything myself. It was my first (and I still think best) Captain Blackwood song out of the ones I have written so far.

Now for the confession and the cause of some pretty bad imposter syndrome. For my song Brigantine Party Machine, I used a royalty free midi pack to help me write some of the music. I am not a music theory genius that arranged all the notes and harmonies perfectly in this song. I just used, manipulated, and modified the midi file to fit my needs and wants. When I listen to Stem The Tide I think to myself, that’s me! I made that! All of that came from my heart, brain, and limbs. When I listen to Brigantine Party Machine, I think what a hack-job-ass-hat I am. People are going to think I’m a better musician than I am and I should feel bad for deceiving them. I live in fear that one day someone will listen to it and recognize one of the lesser modified snippets and know I used a midi pack to help write a song. 

Yes I used a midi pack… you know… Like hundreds of thousands of other musicians all over the world. That is why those packs exist! People wouldn’t sell them if others didn’t buy and use them. These statements are just some of the ways I try to justify my actions. To be crystal clear; I didn’t steal anyone’s work and I have not broken any laws. I also don’t think anyone would ever even have known or cared. I just felt the need to “come clean” for my own conscious. 

Here is how the song came together. The music was indeed, in my head. The beat and rhythms were mine and I had the opening drums and guitars down already. I knew I wanted horn stabs to come in next and thought how badass would it be with a “circus like” melody over all of it. I started looking up different scales and found Balkan music had the sound I was going for. I already owned some world music midi files so I listened to them to find the chords and scales I wanted. They were almost exactly what I envisioned in the first place. I thought it’ll save me so much time if I just modify and edit some of these to make my song. Which again, is exactly what they were made for.

Here are a few other random things I tell myself in an attempt to feel better about releasing Brigantine Party Machine.

I’m Captain Blackwood. I said up front that I’m a pirate.

Every time I went to listen to something, I could not find a band making the music I wanted to hear. So I set out to make it myself… Well, Brigantine Party Machine is what I want to listen to, and I did what I needed to do to make it.

Rhianna’s Umbrella won a Grammy and that used the pre-programmed beat “Vintage_Funk_Kit_03” that comes with every Mac.

At least you used the tools at hand to try and create something somewhat original. You didn’t just rap over pop hits from the 80’s like every P-Diddy hit.

There is that musical comedy act that shows every single smash hit is the same 4 chords.

I read a 1 star review of a fun little iPhone game once that roughly said “I’m only an entry level game designer and I could make this game in 10 minutes.” Yeah well, you didn’t. The other guy did and now he is the one that has my dollar. Could other people use the same midi I did to make a song? Yes. But I’m the one that did it this way, and even if they did, it wouldn’t sound like mine.

I don’t have an insightful way to end this. The back and forth battle in my head over Brigantine Party Machine is never ending. It will never be as special to me as Stem The Tide or some of my other yet to be released songs… but shit… I love listening to it and I loved making it. Plus it definitely represents what Captain Blackwood would be blasting out of his Sonic Cannons as the Brigantine Party Machine soars overhead brining the ruckus for all the people dancing, raging, and grooving.